I’m enroute to Peshawar on my first ever Faisal movers bus. Once there, I’ve got to cover a differently-abled PMS officer’s special education story … more like the absence of special education. Anyways..yeah this is it.
I have been meaning to resume writing diary for a long time now but due to different reasons at different times, I couldn’t. Part of this is because of my tendency to overthink, that I’ve controlled a lot now. Another reason was the fear of coming out of the closet. Have you heard the theory that “Silence maintains mystery, making you unpredictable and thus powerful”? Now I question, what if it is not true? Have we ever questioned this … or for that matter, any other “life lesson”? We allow ourselves to be drugged and dragged so deep, for so long that now, knowingly too, we don’t act. Simply refusing to move. Massive selfishness is at place. By giving food to a professional beggar or feeding a stray cat, Pakis are planning to populate paradise. Pardon!?
What about a poor bride burned because her parents can’t afford to give her fiance a TV or a bike? Even a vendor knows the problems here yar. I don’t want to write a list again. But what do we do as a solution? We, the fancily-educated Gen Z? I’ve left Islam but Summum Bukmum Ummyun Fahum La Yarjiyun!
The other reason I didn’t resume diary was because I can’t write this daily. Somedays are busy and on nights of those days, all I have to do is lie on a bed. Dreamless, dead-deep sleep blinds my consciousness in minutes. Especially after a day well-spent. I personally prefer to do nothing productive after dinner too. Sometimes going for basketball, at other times skating. Sometimes out with a boy or two. Once a week, there’s a movie night … some weeks I skip movies though. Biweekly traveling on weekends to somewhere new. Not that I have a lot of it, (or that I will ever allow myself to have a lot), but one of the advantages of being single is now I can allocate money to Spare, Outing, and Save categories budget every month. I want to invest again in crypto … but haven’t given it a thorough thought yet.
Yesterday I learnt a crucial lesson. I will share it when the time is right but it is subjective so .. not much of a problem if I don’t pen it quite soon. I quit Islam because I think Allah doesn’t care about us. The story of he loving us more than 70 mothers seems unright. And I won’t allow myself to hoard money because that’s how society rots. Money must keep circulating in the society. I’m working on this with a small group and we get new members every week. And hy now that I remember, did you visit my blog recently? I made an intro video on the homepage. If you feel like having a look, the link is in my profile. Diary of a senseless wanderer is resumed. Have a nice Tuesday.
…I don’t know what to do. On one side is humanly desire and on the other, is the desire to control what’s humanly and develop more strength in the process. Besides, when I am destroying the other person while fulfilling humanly desires, I think it’s my time to retire from this instead.
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