I’ve never been an obedient child. Running away from home, to openly criticize anything I see happening at home that I did not like, I rarely stopped myself from expressing dissent because … it’s my home. Everyone’s got parents. So the story, in some unique way, perhaps happens in everyone’s home.
But since a year now, I have had this traditional show of submission upheld with my dad. That man knows I’m an adult and since the 1st year of university, he’s kinda got it. Gulped it. I can’t say that I can understand the pain it must be to acknowledge, to yourself, that your son is not yours anymore. He has his own life, which shouldn’t be dictated as it was customary to say .. Matric. Beta ye ni krna. Beta vo ni krna. Now suddenly, beta doesn’t agree. You have to bear with it. My dad puts on a courageous face, a face I would have replicated if I ever plan to make one of us.
He doesn’t like long hairs. That became a serious bone of contention. Almost, a snap. But somehow, Idk what happened, I tapped out. Ab university me bal ni ktata. Aek to yhan mhnge b boht hen, lekin primarily because I like to go home, see his disapproving, then go to the barber he’s friends with and submit my long strands of grown hairs to scissors. A ritual, one may say. To express yes, I still obey you. I’m still very much in your control and … I am yours.
Roots. They are important, no matter how dumb or ignorant the world may make your roots. I’ll be roots one day too.
Five good things I did today are:
I decided to talk with the strangers instead of leaving or sitting in an awkward silence
I went ahead to change my route, because it was more convenient, even though I was fearful of the last minute change of plans
I cut my hairs and that is very, very sad!
I had a conversation with one of my siblings, a thoughtful conversation
I stayed within the time I set for myself, of watching movies, while traveling.
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