How long it’s been .. a month? More I guess. Diary of a senseless wanderer. When I thought of this name, it wasn’t in my mind a bit how …sticky, it would be. Or perhaps I chose to create my future by choosing to be .. a senseless wanderer.
Lol. Anyways, today is going to be bad. I will get probably 1 or 2 score max. Barely. Out of .. unlimited. Basically, there’s this daily evaluation system, one which covers physical, emotional, mental and spiritual activities in a day. You can get idk…50ish if you perform outclass in every activity a day. The max I got, 25, was yesterday. On average, I get 19ish while usually when I aim a minimum of 15. Like that’s my limit, don’t go below 15. Twice I got 1 and 2 in August. This month…started with 25 and today, perhaps 1 or 2 max. F it.
I had a fight with manager attar. I shifted to attar to change my environment, but then some guy was losing all his friends because of my new room placement, so I said okay, I will swap with you. Also because the room I would go to after swap was clean and newly refurbished, so I was seeing my advantage. But I got into a fight with the manager of that hostel while shifting. He decided to stop swapping. So now, I am in the room I was intended to be, but that guy is trying to convince the manager to let me swap. I am thinking of saying sorry to the manager. That is another feedback loop from hell. Thanks Mark!
But yeah….that’s it. Except that I also had a tensing conversation with a party’s guy, who did understand quickly and cut the call. It is frustrating to … feel so frustrated. I give a fuck about how I feel, and about how I make others feel, especially those who have convinced themselves of their authority. Why break the bubble? I will say sorry to him while going back. Allah izzat de.
And .. did not do any work. Like did go to the library but didn’t do much, for an hour, and then came back. Watched two movies on my list. Going to watch 1 more till 10. Then plan tomorrow and sleep. And yeah, I didn’t plan today too so .. yeah that’s bad. Even though, and this is what I do like, my Todoist is now managed in such a way that it can easily accommodate emotional outbursts. I really like managing my day lol.
I guess that is it. No game today, nor any other physical activity. Just going to buy some snacks and go do dinner and then movie. And apologize. Whatever. Bye.
It takes courage to do good things. I feel like in the world, bravery, honesty, truthfulness or righteousness are way overrated. Or at-least the one which is needed to do the above thing, the courage, it is way underrated.
عصر حاضر ملک الموت ہے تيرا ، جس نے
قبض کي روح تري دے کے تجھے فکر معاش
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