Its 636am of 10.25.25.
I have made a friend, or that is how it would seem to an external observer, Tess.
How? It is not necessary to mention but the said person is from India, a lawyer by profession and a gentleman by first few hours of my subjective judgement. I won’t rely solely on my judgement as, it has misled me pretty fatally in the past. But for now, he seems like a cool guy.
After about 9 months of not talking to anyone outside of a therapist’s room, or immediate family, yesterday I talked with him for about 2hours on and off. And the stuff he shared was unimaginable to be honest. He called his another friend, also male, the “love of his life”. I immediately said, “hy, that’s gay” to an astounding laugh. But then he explained how common it is for people to have a same-gender bestfriend. In his case, the guy had given him blood in an emergency case. They had both been together since childhood, same school, same college, same university. They had both broken their legs at different times during which the other literally moved him around on a wheel chair, alternating roles, at one point having to feed too, because the hand was also broken.
Now this either seems to be something pretty normal that I have just never felt, imagined possible, or … a very convincing story leading to a gay narrative. I don’t know. I am not homophobic, but if saying I am definately not homo is homophobic, I am very homophobic. Try doing some mental gymnastics here to understand that, Tess.
Eitherway, it was a relief from the long stretches of silent punctured with sad music and occasional weekend outings to a canalside near my house.
Other than that, all is okay. Last month all the pay I got went to a toothache fix. This month, Dad has asked me to repay half of his debt to one of our relatives from whom he took money 4/5 years ago. So, the pay is going there.
I will be honest with you Tess. The day to day does not seem to be improving. But when I analyze it, I find a very clear problem. I am seeing, and judging, mostly the time after Jan 25 when it happened, or after June 25 when I moved back home. That’s a short period of time in the actual 2 years since I have worked at my new company. I should start widening my denominator to lower the impact of the final result.
I watched a 2hr Mentour Pilot video saved in Watchlist for the last few weeks, after work today. Yesterday was … different. Let’s see how today turns out.
Bye. And have a good weekend.