1214pm
Woke up about an hour ago, by the kidlet#2. She said to warm her food because the kidlet#1 had strictly told her not to do anything with the stove which is good, the #2 is like 11years old and though mom sometimes does ask her to make tea etc, I hate it.

Anyways, so gave her breakfast, then took a bit of warm tea meself, then came back to sleep. Its been 30mins, can’t fall back asleep so here I am.

Tess I want to play games but I get bored so easily now. Can you imagine, that I, IIIIIII, haven’t fully explored RDR2 map yet? Like done 50% of it which is needed to finish the story but after that, none. I bought the OG Halflife for free, the other day on steam, and played it total for like 20mins. I am either too non-energetic or too non-busy to play games anymore.

And y’know at times I think of asking my boss for a leave, a long one. Like a week. But I am just afraid of 1, I will get stupid bored. And 2, at this stage, a week’s leave is just not good for the company and I know people who may think, company does not matter, you matter, corporate greed and all lol but .. company is 8 people, not fucking Blackrock or Nestle so … it does matter. It needs me, and I need it, so why not just peacefully exist in a mutually beneficial relationship instead of being an asshole about it. I would never understand, or maybe was never able to understand yet, people who intentionally waste their time on work. Like … okay, you won’t do your work so if the company is big enough, someone else will do yours and so, you are increasing literally another human’s work, not the company’s work, company, corporate is immaterial. Its in your mind. It does not exist outside the very real world of the people. Your boss will be pissed, not the company. Your coworkers will have to carry your burden while knowing that they are not getting paid for it, that is company. Who are you harming? Who are you kidding? Say, “the company” … idiots!

I mean when I was in PRG, they won’t give me work for more than 2hours and I used to get so bored so I started taking my personal laptop to work to learn new stuff and do side projects hunting. I was really bad at Fiverr or Upwork tbh but that’s a side story. But the real “problem” I had with PRG was that they banned me to use the laptop in office. Bored again, hated it. Allah bhla kre mere manager ka, who decided to give me some new, albeit secret, project for the company that he was working on and we would do that together.

Before that in CMC, (god I hate CMC), they did give work but the laptops were shitty as hell. So like, it would take them 3 years to start, another 2 years to refresh the screen and by then, it would be 5pm so the ma’am would force us to stay. I had a fight with ma’am once because she was making me sit for more than an hour later to do some work which the guy to my right should have done, it was his work, he just said my company laptop is not working so suddenly now it becomes my responsibility? And it was like 3rd day in a row. She said “you’ve gotta do what the company asks of you”. They asked me to not wear Shalwar Qameez in office. Sent mails about it. They had a camera in office which they used to see us all the time, and I was warned twice, to start wearing a 3-piece daily because “our clients” come to meet us. So? What’s wrong with a shalwar qameez? And to keep up with those uptight assholes, I started wearing a Waist coat over my shalwar qameez just to look sophisticated, all while cutting out and pasting news from the newspaper in a company scrapbook made for their clients daily. This was 2023/2024 … when this PR company was using tactics from the 90s and before.

So anyways, 4/5 months later they fired me. Mail said I have been told repeatedly to wear a “proper suit for professional presentation” or something else, corporate jargon, and that was that. To be honest on the flipside, they were giving 70K which were a lot compared to the PRG’s 35K. Between these two jobs, I also worked as a school principal’s assistant for 2 days, after CMC fired me and I had not known about PRG atm. The school was American Lyceuym sth/sth, I don’t exactly recall. So yeah, that was that.

Anyways so yeah, when you come from this background, you understand how good of a company you are working and how to limit yourself, to not stretch beyond the means so as to not become a headache for the company.

And kidlet#1 is back from school so gtg. Bye.


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