Well its 917pm
Its weird I will be honest with you Tess. Since the start of Eid, I am “holding up”. Strange. Its like … one of my roommate back in NUST would do this thing to assume what your “best” or “ideal” version would do in a situation and just do that in the present scenario. I thought of it, applied it, and … its been calm. Is it before a storm? Maybe but my ideal version won’t give a 2nd thought to worries that fall out of his control so … I am trying to do the same. I don’t know how long this will last. Will I finally be able to control and grow? Will this just prove to be a tiring facade? Who knows, not me atleast.
I went outside again, just like yesterday, to have dinner. Hopefully mom will be back with the siblings tomorrow or the day after and then it won’t be this peace and quiet. There’s goods and bads to it.
And I will perhaps record a video too, again. I keep this to myself because … that’s what the ideal me would do. And because I speak my mind there, not something to be shared lol.
I deleted my reddit posts and YouTube stuff last night.
Bye.
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