450am
Well, the only good thing I can say about today is time passes. Those 24hours are not here, they are gone, past, alhamdulillah. I may sound very sad Tess, to say that I am celebrating time passing away but I am actually happy. It was so much. And I know its going to be so much again and again and again in the coming days. We are laying off some people to stay in the budget and that means the rest of us who claimed to know “everything” are now doing everything. It was the first day today. I am not yet free, its the next day already, 450am of 04.08.25. I started working at 2pm, 04.07.25. And if I say it out loud … well, that means I am inputting too much, outputting not much, so the efficiency is low. Its the damned me, all the time.
And why not, why the fuck not.
I took the little kiddo to park for an hour, and there I taught her Cell membranes and Nucleos and Protoplasm and Cytoplasm and half a page of English. That’s it. Instead of going to cafe, I went to the local park, and instead of buying anything for myself, I bought her snacks and practiced a control on impulsive buying and instead of sulking in my room or going to cafe alone, I chose to teach her. She’s skipping Grade 5 to cover up for the time she spent memorizing Holy Book and I am trying to help her catch up.
Those are the only good things I did today. Or … those are the things I am using to escape from the fact that I am not good at my job, I said no to the other prospect I had by chance, and I am a guy with no skills. Congrats, you win, negativity. I hope you enjoy it.
I wish I did not have these voices in my head. How peaceful it would have been.
Bye!
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