I am smoking. I promised myself on the first serial cigarrate, that I’ll quit the day I get married. Hopefully neither will happen.
I miss working from Islu y’know. From that i8 markaz, peace and rush at the same time. I used to go out for a smoke after dinner in the work break and, there would be all kinds of people. Rich and poor, Smokers and non-smokers, casulists and businessists, people with a purpose and people without. And the best of all, I was able to atleast work a few hours a week for the party. Now in here, there’s no party, there’s no one to meet and serve a purpose with. It’s just me, the screen, some keys under a couple of fingers and some dissheveled thoughts in the back of my head.
Today was fine Tess. I mean it was payroll day but it went smoother than I expected. Monday was Stat holiday so I was expecting some kind of hick up, there usually is when stat is involved but, today there was none. A sigh of relief.
And my dad is pushing me to get another job. A government job. I guess he thinks I waste all my time on computer, or maybe most of it, in his best interest I will give that last piece of argument. Maybe he is right. Maybe I am too lazy.
But I don’t want to have another job, I have to make this one work. I have sort of a relatively passive role since the last year, it did take some getting used to but I am fine now. A day of work is filled with stuff to do, most of the time. Clients, Spreadsheets, Graphics and Chats. What more can I ask for. He’s just worried that I can get fired anytime but so can more than 50% of the world. I sometimes wish he understood, that I understand this risk. It’s not he who’s gonna get fired, its me. Won’t I already know the risks, won’t I see the sword hanging. Saying it out loud, repeating it day in and day out, what good is it going to do.
But he just wants the best for me so, I guess at some point I have to cut him some slack. After all if there’s one thing I am sure of, it’s that no one wants your future secured and stable more than your parents, its just the nature of the relationship. Not your teacher, or boss, or SO, or whoever else you can think of. Ofcourse I am generalizing is so, don’t quote me on any of this. Just subjective opinions of a 26 year old guy.
And he’s now insisting that I must do Masters in the upcoming session. I don’t know if, or how, I am going to tackle that. If I do, the only choice for university is NUST. I have experience there, comfort zone you can call it. Masters anyways is degree for money, very minimal “learning” involved so, NUST is the kind of place where you go to give them the money and get them to f off for the time period of degree. Maybe MBA, if I get admitted. I am not sure if Mass Comm grads can do MBA though, so maybe MS Business or MS Logistics or MS Marketing. Dad was saying do MS Mass Comm, continue the field you chose and I get that point too. MS Mass Comm in Pakistan is the most useless of all degrees I have listed but … it could be equally useful if I ever decide to pursue Journalism, that does not seem to be taking off in this country ever. I do like MS Marketing and MS Business though. Both scratch the itch. Idk what I am going to do.
Life passes on Tess. What will I be in 2027? 2030? 2050, when I turn 50, if I am alive by then. Will phones be still the mass produces mode of communication? Will we still crave the last light of a fading Sun, burning upon the crests of little waves in the water? Men will still want women. Women will still want money, sue me. Kids will still want to just grow up so they can have their “freedom” and the free people will still miss the olden, golden, days. Onwards and upwards, eh! Bye.