756pm
Just stopped after 30mins of a lesson for a thing I am learning using ChatGPT.
And RDR2 is pending, in the background, for 3 hours atleast. The computer did not shut down. I did post about it on reddit to see if I can get a reliable computer guy, let’s see.
That’s about it.
336PM
So … bought a new keyboard and Maira’s skate today from the flea market. Costed in the budget so that’s okay but I … am now regretting buying the keyboard. It was a need yeah, and I am really finding this one good enough to work on more fast, the previous one was heavy, twice its size and I had a hell of a time trying to backspace anything on it but … maybe I should have waited before the next pay. Because this month on 20th, I have the dentist appointment where it is going to cost around 100K. Though I have 140K in the bank, I also have to get through the next 12 days, and that is AFTER paying rent, gas bill (its winters, you imagine, and the kiddo’s school fees for both. So…Idk … Let’s see.
But today was Maira’s first skating lesson. I am super … happy that she bought those and I hope she can stick through the pains and hurts of the next few days, , while learning to stand, walk and skate, and then brake. Then its easy. But it took me 40 days to the T to learn these 4 things, stand, walk, skate and brake. After that,I used to come from 3rd floor hostel room to the ground in skates, have dinner in skates lol (did that once, it was super cringe so I did not do that again). Went to the medical centre in skates, went out from gate 2 of NUST and came back in via gate 10 .. super dangerous because you are skating at night on the opposite of incoming traffic but I was at margin, tall and senseless so made it outta there.
That’s that. And I feel like I should resign at the party or … to one point I already have. I told the sector president that I can’t fulfill the newly given responsibilities of being sector General Secretary because of my busy schedule. He did not accept the resignation this time. I … did not see any of his messages intentionally this day, where he had asked me to send some reminders. He sent them. I hope he can understand what I am trying to say here.
Will I regret it? I already do. But I need to remove stuff of my plate and focus on what’s important. I need to build this company, and that’s for my own good tbh. I can finally, literally, achieve the dream life. I can actually go to EagleNest, do one personal roadtrip in Utah, actually get my sisters educated and give mom and dad a decent old age, if this company succeeds. We are through first year. The next 2 years are going to be even harder so … while I was with the party, yes good job, thankyou. I am now going to formally request them to make me a volunteer instead. Volunteers are only obligated to send in monthly fund, and that’s that. Right now I am a Working member so I am obligated to fulfill my duties assigned but as a Volunteer, you don’t have any duties. Volunteers are usually seen as going-to-leave but … because I believe in the people, the people who I studied with or attended seminars with, the party leader who does a menial job, the party General Committee which is elected after every 4 years, the policy of secularism, of non-violence, of political education of leadership before doing any public seminars, I believe in these, so I am thinking once I am a bit free, I will be back. A bit free in 2 or 3 years? And tbh people in party should not panic over this lol (and I think they are not, I am overthinking). Struggle for change is a lifelong procedure. Once we achieve a revolution, sustaining it is even more difficult, like the company’s 2nd and 3rd years, revolution’s 2nd and 3rd years will also be difficult. People set expectations when they see improvements happening because they see only the “improvements”, not the shitshow behind the improvements. Once public phase of party is launched, no one from public will give 2 cents about the right now leadership phase. Decades long, gone to shit, but you accept it because they, the public, us, the public, is what you struggled for. Can’t criticize them, can we?
Anyways, here are some more memes and .. I am gonna eat lunch now. Its 352pm. I wish I did not buy this keyboard even more.
v
Leave a Reply