March 24 2025: The following is from Fall 2021 and Spring 2022. Its a collection of notes from Google Keep being transported here today.
Nights pass and days go by
I stumble, suffer, scream & cry
Bad dreams, Sad dreams
Tell the stories I wish were dry
Totally fine, wholly good
And then suddenly off the hook
I try so hard, being the losing card
timely, organized, but success barred
Does this even matter? Will it ever end?
How much more should I fight, oh friend
A friend, ha, that’s what I need!
(Or that’s what I think)
But I’ve got a lot, now why these fears?
Why these messy nightmares?
Where is God and the justice above?
How much more is left of this rub?
I tried my best, I’ll try a little more
If I ever give up, let this be told
Here lies a man, quick to mature
Soft in the heart and silent, ignored.
There lies a boy who against our advice
Messed up the life, loving unwise
Ungrateful, pathetic, having pangs of attention
Unstable, Notorious, they’re skilled at pretension
Don’t make (or be) friends, bullies, those who
Dump in you their turbulence, toxicity and violence
Then leave you and build their peaceful mansions
Never look back
After you have kicked a life
Knocked out a friend
Created another problem
On top of others
Crates upon crates
Of disgusting dump
Of your life’s problems
On someone else’s back
Look so neat, right?
Never look back
Might eat you with hatred
alive
What happened in Murree
Was completely justified
When you skin and raze the bones
Of those who can’t afford
Days with out food
Those who have to feed
The never-ending greed
And relatives, friends
And also keep a face
(In society; given opportunity,)
They’ll sell what they have
A biscuit for a thousand
A room for fifty grand
Loot and kill travelers
Humane? Screw you!
Now wait for the time
When these very hungries
Get juicy clients
Sitting on the other side of walls
Those who set up
And safeguard
This system of 8-hour slavery
Imbalanced factions
Classes in society
Making the middle class
Keeping the third worlds
The unjust system
Skinning alive for a dime
The time is near
Just wait friend dear
Skinless bones
To eat their ethos,
Juicy, filled with life
And THAT will be justified.
A: Always negative?
B: Self-esteem shattered
A: Nice to be self-aware but y always negative?
B: Trying to build it up now, again. 2022
A: Yeah but why always negative
B: Will you take tea?
A: Uhh yeah, sure… but why always negative B?
B: Here’s your tea, hyy be careful!
A: Why?
B: You r dropping the tea out of the teacup
A: Oh sorry, let me handle it
B: What will you drop out of a tea cup?
A: huh?
B: What will you drop out of the tea cup?
A: Tea…
B Exactly!
A: … exactly?
B: Teacup spills tea …
A: Yeah … ?
B: An outcast, sent hatred, rejections and negativities, a sponge of your society will spill …
A: … will spill
B: Negativity. I am just giving you back, uncovered is all. More tea?
Tess I have this weird … travel fetish, if you may. Generally when someone takes an iPhone or some other thing whose only worth is that it costed more than it actually should, I can brush it off as that person is trying to add value to him or herself by attaching external valuable stuff. In simpler words; they don’t think being human is enough for themselves, I need not be afraid or uncomfortable from this person. Snowflake self-worth. It’s a whole debate involving Power, Finances and their contribution to a person’s “perceived” value.
What I am worried about is I have this weird fetish of never liking to travel on a bike. Never. I would waste money (apparently) to have comfort while travelling, instead of saving money for the destination. Is this me adding value to myself? For such a brief time where most of the times, I’m alone? Why don’t I prefer clothing or phones or watches etcetera, which you can actually “show off” with! I mean that’s things which will add fake lasting value right? Why Uber? I hope I can answer this question someday.
Where were we mere months ago
Where we are now with the time’s flow
SOMEHOW
AFTER EVERYTHING’S GONE
THE CHAPTER’S OVER
AND THE BOOK GETS CLOSED
THE UNITIES BROKEN
THE TRUTHS SPOKEN
THE LIES DISCOVERED
SHAMELESS, UNCOVERED
AND WE PROMISE OURSELVES
NOT TO BELIEVE ANOTHER WORD
NOT TO LET snakes MAKE
PROMISES THAT ARE FAKE
poisons SWEET as CAKE
SOOTHING LIKE TREES
ON d FAR SIDE OF LAKE
YET STILL SOMEHOW
THE SPACE IN OUR HEARTS
(A VACUUM MEANT FOR LORDs?)
IS FILLED YET AGAIN
WITH A twisted BOW
THE MIRRORS SUDDEN GLOW
OR A RAY SO SLOW
SO SLOW!
THAT IT MAKES YOU WARM
A BED IN D DORM
Only iF YOU stay TRUE
TO all the PICTURES that YOU DREW
Then SOMEHOW my dear friend
YOUR PEACE WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU
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