Fuck it. Here goes. I miss the memories I had with my ex. There. I WAS SO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT ☠️😂 …ajeeb.
I miss the moments we made together at heaven’s edge. NMC and other places in Nust. And particularly in C1 huts .. I was getting stupid candles and stuff, bought with my pocketmoney, after also getting beaten, on my own birthday. And at that moment .. I THOUGHT I WAS THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WORLD 😆. If you ever feel this way … Brace yourself 🤠
Seriously, when you remove the red glasses of peeyar from your eyes, you begin to see all the ultimate stupidness. You see how many red flags you ignored! How frequently you were used by what you were considering your “responsibilities”. Despo boys like me become husbands for their girls aevein lol. As much as the role of bad parenting might be involved here, you can’t simply ignore your partner’s own will and control.
Then she left for a bigge and a Kia Sportage 😂😭 (Brand changed to protect privacy)
I was left to cry. It was September I guess. Still after crying so hard, I craved for her while she was away in Karachi, at those concerts and shit. (Nothing wrong with it though, nothing wrong in cheating if you have multiple options to taste, go ahead : ). Then slowly, I begun to realize things I was overlooking all this time. No longer did I have any 24/7 person but also, no longer was my money disappearing at 7th of every month. I was having more time to do stuff I liked. And it’s not like you grow suddenly. No. Suddenly you get strengthened. All that crying leaves you dead. And when you pass over that, when you live after dying, the fear of anything and anyone disappears (I will still choose to run from a physical fight though 😂). Growth starts after you have strengthened enough. You get exposed to new experiences. You learn and do stuff that you missed while you were stuck between someone’s. And you make mistakes. Oh l made tons of them. I texted her again after a month or two asking to consider getting back. Of course she did not. Who gets out of a Sportage?
Now that we look at it, she also did text me once or twice after the breakup. Yeah, I should have mentioned it earlier. Once for 300Rs while standing at a bus terminal, once for my basketball. And well … never returned my powerbank and cycle. Btw I am not counting these because I want them now, no, contagious poison is better. I have better replacements alhamdulillah. But:
“Ab Tum cheezen gin rhe ho, Awais”.
“… they were more expensive, y’know”
Anyways, today I’m going late to job. Laptop ki hard drive is not detecting Local disk D and E where all my data is stored. The repairing guy comes at 11am. So I’m waiting. And this. Bs. Lesse.
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