Diary of a Senseless Wanderer

Hey, Tess Today is 18th of April. I’m writing this at 2:06 a.m. 19th of April, but that’s normal. I wasn’t able to write…

Hello, it’s 2:49 am of 17 April, but I’m writing this diary for 16 because, obviously, I work at night, so this is normal.…

Its 115am of 15 April. Today I discovered the suicide album, Frank Sinatra. And the last two lyrics of one of the triple songs…

Hey Tess Every time for the past few days that I start writing, the stories in my head are far longer, the incidents of…

Hy Tess, Last two days I guess I did not write the diary but both of these day, I thought about it. In bed,…

Hy Tess!!! Well its 203am. I have been working for the past 10ish hours. Completed 8hrs for today and … I am not satisfied…

Hy Tess Why are things the way they are? And why do I have to have the knowledge that in every generation, every kid…

450amWell, the only good thing I can say about today is time passes. Those 24hours are not here, they are gone, past, alhamdulillah. I…

852pmWell, hy! I am back lol. Hardly away, a day skipped? Idk, and it does not really matter, does it? Time, slow, day by…

Hy everyone. What chaos are you guys in nowadays? I’m making a website for hudistic. And I can’t figure out what design/layout I want!…

Today was well .. 9/10! Unlike the day before yesterday when it was 10/10, today I was free and bored mostly so I ……

07:27 am It’s 0727. I’m feeling very tired this morning. All these memories clouding my head. As much as I try to oppress and…

Starting right off, first of all, I was deeepressed the whole day. But then I got so happy, how? That’s not the story! You…

Hy…how are you. So It’s the 3rd time I have deleted Snapchat in 2 years. Here’s the story of how, for each time. The…

Nothing special. I’m going to resume cutting myself, starting just about now. I don’t know of the future, nor do I give a fuck…

08:46 am Well this is good. I can’t believe I did it again! My laptop was getting slow so .. over the past few…

10:32am I am in the central library. In total in Nust, we have like >10 libraries and this one, the Central library, is the…

Today is the start of October. Autumn is setting in … I remember back in the autumn of 2020, I wrote a poem on…

1823 Today was … good? A little tiring but good. I got to do some never-done-before things, so I am happy. In the morning…

04: 42 pm I was just returning from Asr prayer, when this guy I know living on my floor catches up with from behind,…

02:23 pm I was sitting in mess just now, eating lentils with a spoon, when I noticed a commotion around me. I was right…

Today was Saturday. Boring. A lil productive and well, a lot more boring. Woke up. Prayed. Slept. Woke up Breakfasted. Slept. Woke up. Prayed.…

Today was kinda emotional. I was going to the mosque, when I noticed, in the protocol avenue, there was a black civic parked, green…

Well….I’m writing this while sitting inside my class with no headphones on. Sir is not here and we have a quiz today. I am…

What is it about people who call you, and when you cut their call to call back yourself, they “aren’t available”? What is it…

I woke up 20 mins before breakfast timing closed today. Missed fajar! Opened eyes to see 0910 on clock. Well, I washed my face…

So today I went to class too early. Woke up at 0942. Didn’t remember class starts at 2pm, so I was there in NLE…

Hy…wassup? .. well it rained today. A lot. Like at 4pm, it looked like 7pm, no Sun or anything, all hail and thunderstorm. I…

The pleasure of existing in someone else’s thoughts is so powerful for most of us, that most humans simply choose to resist the possibility…

I will write everything I want to say today, tomorrow. This post should be thought as a government vacancy, filled already but still posted.

Well….I had Chinese lunch. Chinese people speaking Chinese, managing a Chinese restaurant with Chinese manners. (By manners, I mean they literally had a sign…

136Skip all day, I am in my skates again. (Please don’t get bored 😂). And … I just completed a full hour (or even…

0557So….this amazing thing happened just yesterday. Completely amazing, and I mean, blew my mind right off. There’s this person here at NUST I am…

2226 Well….I got some skating shoes which really fit me perfect. How I got those is what I’ll tell tomorrow because abhi it’s 2227.…

1137 I am sitting here in margalla cafe, which one of the many businesses in NUST. I’m here for a group project meeting……today, this…

1016 Hy good people … How are you all? Today I … consiously … turned my Fajr Alarm off and went to sleep and…

0654 How are you all…I hope good. Was this weekend’s start welcoming for you? It certainly was for me… So I woke up at…

2026 You know what I just realized … that people will actually make excuses for your bad behaviour, for you to be good, and…

1827 I’m sitting on top floor of NUST library looking outside at the “Campus Breaths Again”, event conducted by NUST administration. A success. Then…

2156 Well….I skated again today, wearing a friend’s shoes! 0125It’s night. Like .. it’s pretty deep, dark and cold outside and I’m wide wide…

1649 S3h (School of social sciences and humanities, in NUST University, Islamabad) is a lively place isn’t it. There are so many people, so…

Today for a small time, I was feeling suicidal. Some triggers happening simulatenously forced me into a corner, and as a defense mechanism, I…

I am grateful because I just skated from Zakriya Parking to HBL road to Gate 2 then C1 from the long road, then from…

Logon ka thukraya hua koi bnda agr Allah k pas jae to kya Allah use qbool krte hen? We can’t know it because to…

Hy Tess! Its 714pm. I am working. I have been working since 310pm, bar a visit outside to get dinner, but the shops were…

Well its 917pm Its weird I will be honest with you Tess. Since the start of Eid, I am “holding up”. Strange. Its like…

Well, today is Eid. Its 618am. 20 mins to Eid prayers. I did not sleep yet, I do declare! I have been practicing an…

Tomorrow’s Eid-ul-Fitr. Or choti Eid, as it is commonly known on the Street around these parts. I went to NUST after like a month…

Can we shut up about “trying to help” stuff? No you don’t. No you don’t. No you don’t. I need someone to listen and…

Well, I am on a trip in a village near Lahore. Right now, I’m inside a sleeping bag placed in a field, where just…

Promise me one thing. You’ll never hurt people who hurt you. You’ll never laugh in the face of people who laughed in your face.…

Well … This is it for today. I finally skated from retro to sns (extreme downhill and exhaustive uphill), and rotated all the way…

2100 I’m sitting in skates Infront of SCME. Like right Infront of it, on the roundabout pavement, facing the school. The ground right beside…

1221 I just accidentally met a person whom I knew prior to this, only on Instagram. It was .. awkward plus happy. I met…

2138 Today was emotional. One of those days when your emotions are riding right underneath the surface and you can barely conceal them. This…

0955 I’m playing … since I woke up. Do you know I didn’t even go to breakfast? I mean … Steam had a Halloween…

I went to itwaar bazar today. First time ever alone in there and what I found out today is yet another talent hiding all…

0828 After a long time today, I actually wanted to shower in the morning 🤦‍♂️😅 … just to feel good. So .. wasted some…

1745 Today again .. I found myself thinking why am I posting stuff on Instagram? Now Alhamdulillah, I am completely over Instagram’s addiction. On…

0247I had this weird conversation with myself. Read along if you wanna. I: you are very strong, do you know that?It: I need to…

1057 So I just came back from Hostel-C2-CSD via Protocol Avenue-C2-Hostel, road blading at 10am noon. And I have decided to color my hairs…

2007 Well, today’s paper went well. More good than I was expecting, because I hadn’t studied much. Anyways .. yeah, it went good. Now…

2115 Well .. today tess, infact right now, I was just going to try some buckets in the s3h basketball court, on skates. But…

162610 I got that much needed haircut 😂 … A lil surge in confidence, and 300 RS later, I am hairless, again. Anyways ..…

165129So right now, I’m wearing skates Infront of Main office, and behind me is the circular lawn. Can you believe it? Just when i…

So yeah … I am sitting in class. English literature. For tonight you know I’m slightly worried because like, they’re streaming match in s3h.…

2046 Guess who’s on firrrrrrrree todaiii? MY LEGS ARE WAATTTAHHH (read water as wataah, British accent) I skated blahblahblah….leave it. (highlight: went to c3…

Well, it’s … as amazing as it can get? I mean I skated all the way from my room to Nust Medical Center, got…

0811 I don’t want to go to school today. And it’s super-rare coz I’ve never had the urge to ‘bunk’ classes. There’s no obvious…

0025 So … I just gave myself some new gifts. On the right wrist and all five fingers of the right hand. It pained…

1908 What should I say? “Done with the hype of being MOC”? But that’s a sentence I have already used once. Anyways .. I…

1101pmWell, today was not very productive. I worked only 2 to 3 hours, but its a Saturday. And I am slowly accepting the fact…

Well, its 302pm. I don’t think the time restriction did much good on yesterday’s post so … I am going to write the time…

Hy! I guess adding the time of when I write the diary is a bit too much information so I am going to stop…

I was roaming on Discord servers today when I found someone writing this in one of the support group’s vent space. And man does…

It’s not like I won’t get sad again, infact I feel kinda sad right now hehe. I don’t want to go back. This was…

1942…skipped today’s class. Which in detail means, bunked to stay curled in a ball of nothingness on the corner of my bed sobbing like…

1544Is it crazy or what? I am so happy right now and the reason is really weird. I got an appointment with a psychotherapist…

1736Today was busy. More like … life-changing busy but I won’t raise any expectations 😃 Enough to say is that I think .. I…

1500I just came back from a meeting here in S3h, with our Industrial Linkage Officer. I had two new ideas to discuss, and the…

0816…I missed the train. It was a good excuse not to go home but then mom insisted and so, I think I’ve to go.…

I’m gonna post this tomorrow or the day after. But as I write it today, I’m feeling a mixture of emotions buried in me.…

“Customer is always right” is a capitalist lie. If the customer is an asshole, (s)he should’ve treated as such. The minute you “disrespect” a…

I’m enroute to Peshawar on my first ever Faisal movers bus. Once there, I’ve got to cover a differently-abled PMS officer’s special education story…

First time eating in Ramadan. In contrast to my skinny built, I’ve always found the strength to keep all fasts, every Ramadan, starting from…

Whenever I resume the diary of a senseless wanderer again, I’ll add this there. Life is layed out in front of me. And it…

I hate the idea of waiting. Especially if it is for an interview or suchlike. If I have to meet someone who has some…

Hyyyyyyyyyyy This was a busy week…I guess zero YouTube video. I’ll record one this weekend. Anyways. I’m just gonna say it because … I…

Hy Tess. Today was kinda normal … when I was expecting it to go worse … So actually good huh. I had a paper…

Fuck it. Here goes. I miss the memories I had with my ex. There. I WAS SO AFRAID TO ADMIT IT ☠️😂 …ajeeb. I…

تو قادر و عادل ہے مگر تیرے جہاں میںہیں تلخ بہت بندہ مزدور کے اوقات Hy Tess…. Today was .. good. 7/10. I woke…

Hy Tess. What’s up .. nothing much? You are pages. What do you do all day? Wait? I hope you do that 😂 Anyways…

Before I write that Tess, I want to tell you something. Somethings. Fuck it. Here goes. I went to Peshawar today. At faisal movers…

Hy. How are you? I want to tell you something. Well it’s not like I should … maybe this is a mistake but maybe…

Hy Tess … How are you Today .. was good. Right now is very good. It rained and I’m laying in grass looking up…

I had thought of only writing in you every night. But .. I want to destress right now. So here it is Tess. Work…

Hyyyyy … how are you? Long time no see .. how is you … It’s really been a long time hena! Like .. months.…

An Instagram story from @baigandbaigum triggered this .. trail of thoughts. I decided to write an entry for Diary of a senseless wanderer. This…

Aashqi sbr tlb, or tmnna betabDil ka kya rng krun, khoon-e-jigr hone tk! Matric k Urdu Nisab me jin ghzlon ko prh prh k…

University internet was down recently. And I realized how much we are dependent on internet. All lectures for my studies are on MS Teams.…