Diary of a Senseless Wanderer

The pleasure of existing in someone else’s thoughts is so powerful for most of us, that most humans simply choose to resist the possibility of it ever happening … people are afraid of love Death is when you can finally breathe in peace

I will write everything I want to say today, tomorrow. This post should be thought as a government vacancy, filled already but still posted.

Well….I had Chinese lunch. Chinese people speaking Chinese, managing a Chinese restaurant with Chinese manners. (By manners, I mean they literally had a sign on the wall saying, “Please forgive me” in three different languages. Just the phrase, “Please forgive me” hanging by the wall. The only problem was the food though. It wasn’t Chinese…

136Skip all day, I am in my skates again. (Please don’t get bored ). And … I just completed a full hour (or even more) on skates, gliding the very place I used to dread visiting once. It’s really crowded and like, crammed with people. The very main cafe on one side, a girls hostel…

0557So….this amazing thing happened just yesterday. Completely amazing, and I mean, blew my mind right off. There’s this person here at NUST I am learning skating from … and the person gave me their extra skating shoes until I don’t get mine! Like….just like that out of nowhere. I needed them and I got…

2226 Well….I got some skating shoes which really fit me perfect. How I got those is what I’ll tell tomorrow because abhi it’s 2227. I need to post this asap. Take care, have a great tuesday fellas. Bbye from the diary of a senseless wanderer.See you .. bbye.

1137 I am sitting here in margalla cafe, which one of the many businesses in NUST. I’m here for a group project meeting……today, this is almost the same weather when in spring, we remove our uppers and coats and stuff, because ‘grmyan a rhi hen’. Now I see people wearing chadars and hoodies etc, under…

1016 Hy good people … How are you all? Today I … consiously … turned my Fajr Alarm off and went to sleep and I feel guilty now. Last night I couldn’t sleep well so…I couldn’t muster the courage to wake up. I hope I am forgiven for that .. And by the time I…

0654 How are you all…I hope good. Was this weekend’s start welcoming for you? It certainly was for me… So I woke up at 0540, prayed and recited Surah Yaseen (which I had memorized previously but now, it’s just bits and pieces. I’ll soon memorize it again In Shaa Allah). And then I just lay…

2026 You know what I just realized … that people will actually make excuses for your bad behaviour, for you to be good, and they’ll be completely okay with it, they’ll deal with it and handle you, they’ll call on you and see to you, when they love you. They do. They actually do. Such…

1827 I’m sitting on top floor of NUST library looking outside at the “Campus Breaths Again”, event conducted by NUST administration. A success. Then there was heavy rain. I came while it was pouring. The pools of water on protocol avenue made me nostalgic. I was lost in the sands of dead times. Now however…

2156 Well….I skated again today, wearing a friend’s shoes! 0125It’s night. Like .. it’s pretty deep, dark and cold outside and I’m wide wide awake. Why is that Urdu proverb: “Ghore bech k Sona”, (گھوڑے بیچ کے سونا) .. represents someone in “deep sleep”? I mean look, if I had some horses previously, and I…

1649 S3h (School of social sciences and humanities, in NUST University, Islamabad) is a lively place isn’t it. There are so many people, so many ‘vibes’. Each look you get, no matter how minute, means something (and that meaning can actually also be: nothing, but nothing is something too). There’s charisma, there’s energy, there’s colors…

Today for a small time, I was feeling suicidal. Some triggers happening simulatenously forced me into a corner, and as a defense mechanism, I started to think of ways to … just quit! I’m alright now. But I’m wondering now that what if all the complexities of a suicide are removed, the physical pain or…

I am grateful because I just skated from Zakriya Parking to HBL road to Gate 2 then C1 from the long road, then from the back of Fatima hostel upto gym besides S3h, turn at S3h sheds to the back of NBS, then did some 8s in basketball court and then back all the way…

Logon ka thukraya hua koi bnda agr Allah k pas jae to kya Allah use qbool krte hen? We can’t know it because to meet Allah, to get to know the answer for sure, one has to die but if I extrapolate from what I know of him from the Holy Book and all ……

Hy Tess! Its 714pm. I am working. I have been working since 310pm, bar a visit outside to get dinner, but the shops were closed due to Eid. So I came back but I am a bit hungry now. And otherwise well, you know how it is. How many times should/can a man repeat the…

Well its 917pm Its weird I will be honest with you Tess. Since the start of Eid, I am “holding up”. Strange. Its like … one of my roommate back in NUST would do this thing to assume what your “best” or “ideal” version would do in a situation and just do that in the…

Well, today is Eid. Its 618am. 20 mins to Eid prayers. I did not sleep yet, I do declare! I have been practicing an app I want to learn. And watching the office. And I feel okay to be honest. Ofcourse there’s the regret of being alone on Eid but its countered by something I…

Tomorrow’s Eid-ul-Fitr. Or choti Eid, as it is commonly known on the Street around these parts. I went to NUST after like a month today and there was no one there. It was just like in COVID, except for a slight change. I roamed across the Scholar’s Avenue, over to the newly made United Nations…

Can we shut up about “trying to help” stuff? No you don’t. No you don’t. No you don’t. I need someone to listen and someone to appreciate how I am going through. I was dumped and yet you know what I did? I reacted by starting a small business. I replied by brainstorming an idea…

Well, I am on a trip in a village near Lahore. Right now, I’m inside a sleeping bag placed in a field, where just a month or two ago, there was full grown wheat. I’m gonna fall asleep in a wheat field right after I write this. It’s 08am. It was a momentary decision and…

Promise me one thing. You’ll never hurt people who hurt you. You’ll never laugh in the face of people who laughed in your face. You’ll never complain about those who complained about you. You’ll forgive and forget. You will be a super human. You’ll be greater than the matters of this world. You’ll not look…

Well … This is it for today. I finally skated from retro to sns (extreme downhill and exhaustive uphill), and rotated all the way back to Hajveri. I went C2 to buy a bottle of vitamin water (I just like the taste of it) and olpers and then skated all the way back and UP…

2100 I’m sitting in skates Infront of SCME. Like right Infront of it, on the roundabout pavement, facing the school. The ground right beside the school, laying astray under a moonless sky, was lit with huge floodlights in the orientation of 2k19. There was a concert here. My life’s first and last concert, for I…

1221 I just accidentally met a person whom I knew prior to this, only on Instagram. It was .. awkward plus happy. I met him in the canteen as I was buying lunch. After intial greetings, he said, “hy, I’ll be in CR (classroom) 5. I said ok…and then I bought lunch and went over…

2138 Today was emotional. One of those days when your emotions are riding right underneath the surface and you can barely conceal them. This was one of those days. I felt elated in the morning, then had a nervous breakdown in the evening and cried behind the under construction CSD canteen. Then went back to…