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Bnana thaTujhe apnaSulana thaRulana thaTeri ankhon me hole seTera hi ghr bsana tha Kmana tha, Urana thaTujhi p sb lutana thaMohabbat g? Fsana thaMuje ghr ja k Ammi koTeri khatir manana thaTujhe phir a btana tha Hmari hi zra, Kuch KuchKahani thi, Noorani thiAkheer vqt andhere meNokar tha or Rani thiZra dheeme, zra holeK ankh…

Kabhi jo ankh khulti thiKoi ghm na hota thaRubber vali nayi pencilYhi me khaab prota tha! S3h. NUST. These words will always hold a special place in the rest of my life, Tess. Like GCCK does. GCCK was a trauma when I did not know the word Trauma. NUST, a trauma I knew I was…

Roz vhan beth k aek lrkaNeeche dekh kuch likhta thaKsi k ane ka manzarJhooti ankhon me bunta thaHsta Khudi, khud ko pagl bna kHsta logon ko acha lgta thaKhud k andr aek Beyqeeni lyeAdhe khabon ki puri dunya meSanam ko khuda smjh betha tha Jis k hathon me ab vo hath dalti hogiMuskrati hogi, Dil…

You stop caring. That’s what I realize nowadays as I grow … up! I am NOT growing old :suppressedsmiles Now I send that weird sticker in the official whatsapp groups and .. don’t care if anyone will likes it or judge me. If I am lying to not do something because I know you won’t…

Today’s heavy Tess. I am not feeling well since the morning, headache. Something’s pushed me down from the moment I got up from bed. It’s still here. It’s 0817pm. Maybe it’s the fact that I am going home tomorrow. Or maybe it’s that I watched my pay disappear today, as soon as it came. I…

Ghr ja rha Hun. Five good things I did today are: 1. Took a risk to not book another indriver, when the first accidentally cancelled. Booking another one would have forced me to leave at least one hanging2. Repacked stuff, to ensure everything was in place3. Tried and mitigated a potential conflict4. Got up earlier…

I’ve never been an obedient child. Running away from home, to openly criticize anything I see happening at home that I did not like, I rarely stopped myself from expressing dissent because … it’s my home. Everyone’s got parents. So the story, in some unique way, perhaps happens in everyone’s home. But since a year…

404amHy Tess! Its early morning but if you think from a normal man’s POV its sleep sleep time for me. I can’t do so because I have to go to Dentist tomorrow. And .. it does not feel good. Bye.

457pmGot up at 1130amish and started working. Had two calls till now, with coworkers. My mom rescued a cat in the morning apparently, the kids told me all about it when I exited the room to get breakfast. On the contrast, she also said don’t let it in your room or in any room for…

206pm3 hours of Wireframing and prototyping ended just now. I am a bit concerned because I planned to make a new screen this time but … unfortunately, it was not possible. The old screen I thought is finished, and had added some comments to “fix this stuff later” got hold of me. And I begin…

704pmI am happy. Rare. Let the world burn. Hath sekenge hveli k bahr gli me rat 2 bje, dunya jla k. Because I am … Why? You ask! Because I was able to work. And learn. I learnt how quick I can make a filter pill in figma. I loved it, and this warm fuzzy…

134pmJust came back from a breakfast from outside. Cost: 720PKR. I never thought I would be the one to “choose healthy” but one, it costs less than McDonalds while being at the same distance, and two, it is actually healthy. Three they have an option to sit outside while eating in their lawnish type area,…

257pmI haven’t written anything down for the last 7 days ig. This was due to a couple of reasons Tess, one being I have been trying to work more and that obviously takes willpower, a limited asset. The willpower used to maintain this diary was being used there but now that I have (ig) established…

Five good things I i did today are:1. I did not go to the party meeting because I had a fever.2. I ate as much as I planned while eating in fever is ducking difficult, in mess. Ghr hota to Kya hi bat thi 😅3. None4. None5. NoneI had a thought today. It’s useful for…

Five good things I did today are:1. lksfjasdfjweiofjsdljflsjflsdjlsd2. Spent money on a fruit shake3. Said sorry to someone I could have not, and gotten away with it4. Went to the library and worked as planned5. Decided to work a little, unplanned

Five good things I did today are:1. Udjsuxskdkdifhekosidbsskjs Today, I want to write openly so, if someone needs to stay away from negative writing, this is a disclaimer. I spend too much time and energy and thoughts into “if” I should buy that roll or not? “If” I should buy that bottle of Pepsi or…

Again, I won’t advice you to read this. NSFW as well. Here, today, is just an average day. Peaceless night, Dreamless day. Kuch nya ni, Kuch alag ni. Vohi uljhn. Bgher kuch kye, zindagi ki thkn. Mot b aesi raht he. And I think we all have a right to be angry on the situation…

Hy Tess. I wrote yesterday. And of the day before that as well but both were too dark to post online. Ya in logon ki namaz rhni thi, ya Khuda ka nazrya. Islye rhne dya. Ghreebon k pas Khuda hi hota he, use b cheen lun to…muje Dr lgta he. Things are not going good.…

Yar, copied line he. Once upon a long time ago, dunya bni thi. Acha ni hua, shi bat he. Acha vaqyie ni hua. Five good things I did today are Kuch b ni. Not. One. I went to job. I attended a class. Basketball khelne gya to basketball court hi bnd thi. Party ki fund…

Hy Tess. I’m tired. Abhi library se Aya Hun, and the work I went to finish there is still even more .. raita. This is not going to be … okay. So I’m just going to upload this one as a story. Permanently feed me nzr ni ana chaye. There are swear words in it.…

Hy Tess. It’s me. Here are the five good things I did today: 1. Jfidowisvsoabgsaohsisos2. Staying in library for 6 hours to work on a Sunday3. Was harsh where I needed to be harsh

Hy Tess, hy. I’m gonna pretend like nothing happened the previous few days and just .. write about today. Backlog burden boht hota he Yar so, let’s just focus on today. Anyways, I am about 40% done with revamping AwaisAlam.com. Finally, I can use Obsidian and publish too, for free. Vese Obsidian Publish costs about…

Hy Tess. It’s me, Awais. I just returned from the study circle class and it was one of those content-packed class! This fortnight’s topic was Shah Waliullah ka Falsafa. Topic hi Falsafa tha. Normally it is restricted to speak or discuss too much of philosophy. This instills susti and negates action. Bnda char nam or…

Rector Sab ki trf aj dinner tha. Compulsory. Mtlb hostel me Khana diya hi ni, agr dinner krna he to aj Rector ki trf hi chlna hoga. NUST aek educational institute smjh k aye the, peshavr qatlon ki jageer nikli he. Vo roti rok ki jis k hr bcha hr mheene 10,000 b deta he!…

Today started in an abnormal way. Thora late ho gya uthne me. Nowshera Jana tha, for FYP shoot. Anyways, I’m enroute now. Let’s see how today pans out. I just put a story up, a really controversial one according to my POV. I can be wrong. The reason I put Mazhab in clash with Roti…

Not good. I think a friend attempted suicide. I texted but no reply yet. Besides, I went to McDonalds outside NUST Gate 2 today, my 3rd time in 4 years. And sipping an extremely expensive cup of coke there, I completed my 2nd course on Coursera, of designing a low fidelty prototype in Figma. It…

Five good things I did today are:1. Was courteous when disturbed2. Practiced self-discipline3. Wrote this entry4. Xworked on Coursera thingie5. Decided to take the risk to go to McDonalds and work And btw, I was today years old when I discovered the McDonald’s me online payment ni hoti. Way to be smart? Or is this…

The guy who was supposed to edit our documentary is not doing so. Half the payment has been made. 28 is the deadline as I told him. I’m fkin worried!Five good things for today are: 1. Dfhjungfdygdyjjvc2. Went to library to fulfill the task I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time. Kafi…

Hy, today’s Saturday. Here are the five good things I did on this day: 1. Took a bath when I didn’t want to2. Worked past the comfort limit3. Made a hard communique4. Piurdfhjkyfchnkkutrdgjigddrttfds5. Wrote this when I didn’t want to go into this boring routine of logging stuff ughh6. Stopped saying harsh something when I…

Okayish day. Some good things I did were:1. Was honest to SO despite a standoff from her end, risking everything2. Was honest with Mom despite my shyness3. Worked on a Sunday4. Wrote this

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138pmI really should sleep but people on reddit keep texting!

1046amMom’s coming back today from the funeral of the cousin. I will go get her in an hour or less. And I just woke up. Writing diary in the morning is easier than at the end of work because at the end of work, all you want to do is somehow, drag and convince yourself…

1214pmWoke up about an hour ago, by the kidlet#2. She said to warm her food because the kidlet#1 had strictly told her not to do anything with the stove which is good, the #2 is like 11years old and though mom sometimes does ask her to make tea etc, I hate it. Anyways, so gave…

255pmHy Tess, How are you! From diary in the Cadet College, to Instagram, to Website. How’s the journey been! Oh you want me to answer that! Okay! Well, college. Lol! College was fun. I learnt a lot; none of which was study related. I learnt not to care for authority if you have the “people’s”…

555amJust another Thursday. 1219pmWoke up around 1130pm but got up from bed now. Got up like, got straight up, sat and started the PC. First thing I see is Workfolio. It says “you have worked 8 hrs xx mins today, Great Job”. I just woke up lol. Anyways, work was crazy last night. The peaceful…

832amJust woke up and started the pc to write this. I am wearing 4 pieces of upperwear, 2 of them made to wear only once, to keep warm. Like a double jacket. And because the bottom wear is 3 pieces, it feels cold. Though it is better than before, than all the days before this…

705amSo here’s the deal. I have lost my CNIC gentelman and good ladies! So … now today after the HBL bank, I will go to Police station for the first time. Hope it is okay experience, I am not raising any expectations anyways. Its the westridge police station, near Churr Chowk. Then will go to…

126am the next dayVery Sleepy. Really Dreamy Right 2.

756pmJust stopped after 30mins of a lesson for a thing I am learning using ChatGPT. And RDR2 is pending, in the background, for 3 hours atleast. The computer did not shut down. I did post about it on reddit to see if I can get a reliable computer guy, let’s see. That’s about it. 336PMSo…

349pmSaturday. Woke up at 1248pm. Like the late winter sunshine, I rose from the East slowly, weakly, trying my best to warm the world. Fucking, hell, let’s get serious. Wanted to play a game but I had some small todos so decided to do them instead. Took bag and came to university. Does a software…

101pmWell, this is it no? I woke up today, at 12pm which is quite early because I slept at like 9am but idk how or why my waking hormones decides to … wake me up. Anyways here I am. Before sleeping, I was telling mom how I have like so less money in bank which…

1137amReturned from the bank about 2 hours ago. Then had to go take the kidling home early on short leave. And now, I am about to sleep. There’s a lot going on in my head but who isn’t thinking all the time, ig. Its human nature. We want more, want now. I opened a game…

Well, this is good huh. I ranted and ranted and ranted yesterday and today was slightly better. Slightly, and not the slightly you use when you don’t want to jinx a good thing, a good day, no. This was actual SLIGHTLY better. Here’s what happened. I woke up at 9am on 12.03.24. Sucks because I…