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12.03.24
Well, something major is going to happen. Idk what it is. And I moved my system from table to ground in the interest of not needing a heater. I can work while keeping a bedsheet on me or two, to save heat and still not add gas/electric expense. I am not sure how this will…
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11.28.24
430AMSorry to the crowd looking to read daily posts, I have unfortunately been fortunate enough to not be so busy, that at the end of the last few days, my hips were relieved to go from this demonic chair to the bed. But two major things happened today. A lot major stuff happened but these…
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11.24.24
538AMWell, it was called lappy. Lappy. Let me bring the lappy. Lappy doosre kmre me he. Would you bring the lappy back? Here, lappy idhr hi rkhte hen, bad me utha lenge. And I was happy. Udhr hi rkha rha me b. I am still there. I hope no one reads this, I am still…
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11.23.24
827pmOi I am scared of getting bored! In 3 hours, I have to meet an AR guy who we need for his accent and experience dealing with western clients.
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11.20.24
508pmjThe past 24 hours have been consistently downhill. But I am not done yet. I am at zero energy. Zero motivation to work and infact, a negative motivation to work so, a position motivation to sleep, to rest, to stare at the sky but there’s no time. A man’s gotta hunt. I will continue to…
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11.17.24
Today was sunday. It went away without me doing anything other than a party meeting. And let’s not … emotionalize it. Let’s take a step back. I waste time. How can I convince my will to stop wasting time and work more. Work so that I can .. atleast secure a healthy, educated future for…
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11.15.24
359amWell .. hy! Start of a new friday. Fucking hell man, its like secs when it was Monday. Idk, time flies!
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11.14.24
313amNow, this is fantastic eh? Having games. And no time to play them. Is this the next few years of life? Not impressed! 357am the next dayToday was not a good day. I mean in the family terms it was okay. But in the terms of my personal self, the constraints I should be putting…
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11.11.24
157pmStarting the day. Not feeling good. Bye. 1208am the next dayWell, a bit good. I traded a bit today. First day lol. Scalping on Doge and BTC. Demo Account on MEXC. Made like 0. 45USDT. That’s not bad, if you see I made 11 trades and lost 1. I will lose trades. And money. But…
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11.10.24
1233amYep. Still Awais. About 30 fucking years left unless something shuts me down early. Hope its not too much pain.
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11.09.24
523PmThe kid of a relative is coming. Now, why? I don’t really understand. Its a stupid city, same unplanned streets, bad roads, occasional water puddles from either when it rained last week or a leaking sewage, the stench carried by the winds coming from the mountains nearby or the ocean far along. What’s so special?…
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11.08.24
1amGoing good. Except for the fact that I fought, yesterday, with someone important. Someone who is my only reader. So yeah, that’s bad. But the thing the fight was on is I believe honest from both ends. I atleast strictly defend my stance being fully autonomous, preprogrammed and on the lines of fate. But the…
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11.05.24
122pmToday I woke up around 11am. Took my time getting out of bed because the past few days haven’t been good so I wanted to start slow and intentional. Normally by this time I am halfway through daily job work but today, I haven’t even started it. Controlling is difficult, I opened the mail and…
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11.04.24
1234pmSomething’s impacting my state of mind since last night and I need to figure out why before it … forces me to implode, or explode. So let’s see. The symptoms: All of this happened in the last 24 hours or moreso, in the last 18 hours. What could be the trigger: 03.11.24– The issue is…
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11.02.24
10amSo .. I just happened to stroll to fees structure pages of programs for my sister’s next year university. NUST costs about 25lac in total for normal courses. And its 111lac for MBBS. AMC costs about 50lac for MBBS and 40lac for Dentists. IIUI costs about 20lac in total for normal BS Biotech and BS…
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11.01.24
433PMLike I do with my dad and some other guys who I know, there must be someone out there who thinks “Let him blabber … he just keeps speaking outdated ideas” about me when I am offering geniune helpful advice! 1146PMSo today I had to push my limits of accounting tbh. I had to find…
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10.29.24
1250amOne habit reeboted. I am sick for the past 11/12 days. Weird because it is not much and .. I have not been sick this long in my 25 years. Idk what’s up.
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10.24.24
201amI asked my boss to log off early today. For no particular reason. This is the BEST I can do to break off this monotony! And tomorrow is supposed to be a light day at work so I may go to university.
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10.23.24
321pmI get real angry, so much that I tend to say stuff which should not be said, use stuff which is told in confidence, to just hurt other person. But it goes away that quickly too. 5 mins ago I wanted to say such stuff. Now, I am better without saying it.
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10.20.24
221amNothing much. Tootache is gone alhamdulillah but, the swelling is still there. Not that I care much of my physical appearence but mom’s been asking me to go to Doc to get it checked. I told her the appointement is on Friday, the 25th. And the hospital is 20kms from here, or more. And its…
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10.19.24
1236amShe said it won’t hurt. It is hurting till now, the tootache. And the next appointment is next week. My cousin’s marriage is next week too so now, I have got a geniune reason to not go. 904amWell, I was able to figure out why this stupid PC was effing over so much. All USB…
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10.18.24
246amRound 2 of getting my teeth fixed coming up after 5 hours in Fauji Foundation Hospital.
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10.16.24
837amI am down with fever. Have been for the last 24 hours or so. My mom, kids, and bndi knows it. I have been pondering over life and its cliche questions. Pondering over life and its cliche questions is cliche too. Sometimes I bring up scenarios in my head where I say, huh, just tell…
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10.15.24
417amHello g. How are you! 604amWell, I should be sleeping rn. But neend ka pattern itna disturb ho gya he due to night job for the last 2 years that .. I can’t sleep until 8am. And can’t wakeup until say, 4pm. I am down with fever. Happens every six months. So yeah, that’s that.…
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10.12.24
514amHello! 708pmWoke up about 1 hour ago. Took mom back from the doctor. He says everything’s fine but your weight which is a classic middle class eastern moms problem. I wish I could buy a treadmill for her (because I know I can force her to use it) but its like 63K minimum. So that’s…
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10.11.24
511amHmmThe moment I stop fearing, the thing I fear will happen. Then I will get to face my fear. But who wants to face joblessness? So I put in my best, everyday, and hope I am considered worthy enought to pass all tests that life throws at me. One of my uni mates just started…
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10.09.24
238amToday is Wednesday, the most busy day in my job. I am more busy on Wednesday than on Monday lol! 404amSomething good is happening, internally. I don’t want to jinx it. I like me. Bye.
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10.08.24
350amI just finished yesterday. Now going to eat French Toast, and then sleep around 6am. 606pmSubmitted 14K for education, 2K for a threeshoo for the pc and another misc hardware. Why the fuck is Islamabad so expensive? Sorry, Pindi, I don’t even live in Isamabad lol! I earn like a good amount of money. But…
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10.07.24
537pmThe day is going the opposite of yesterday. I did nothing yesterday and even with some hurdles today till now, I have managed to stay on track! 1249am the next dayYep, it went good. It is still going though, I wish it ends now. I am tired. But hy, gotta work to feed a brass…
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10.06.24
745pmSetting: Sitting in a place where I only could have imagined to sit a year ago, I waste my time. More time. Time, that is the essence of life, I waste it, let it pour out of my grasp like its nothing Voice in my head: Well, why don’t you go back to your room…
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10.05.24
Roll the dice, give me the penFor now I’ll write my owneth zen Hy everybody, audience of zero. How are you! Today’s Saturday. Wohooo but no, I have got some papers to study on how to do a modern user’s behavioral analysis properly and how to launch on AppSumo properly. Yeah, I am a fucking…
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10.04.24
249amI am happy, you are sadI am good but you are badHead of a bird is golden cladHe is a human so he’s gone mad Time passes, Head now greyBirdie’s head’s in the golden trayMighty shout is now a preyAnother led by times, astray Death for him now, silentlyJerks his head but, diligentlyPretending to work,…
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10.02.24
0318amI am going to sleep in a few hours. Will wake up at about noon, say 1 or 2 pm. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do already. Today was ookayish. I mean I had some really difficult times today, especially with the family, but that’s what happens when you’re the biggest brother, right?…
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09.27.24
0439pmI am happy with my life. Ab aye jo azab aye! 0512pmDoes it ever get better than this? No one to care for. A job that pays enough to live in the capital with my family, AND gives challenges to keep me mind munching for hours, daily. A family balances just right to fear and…
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09.25.24
630amYar gari vale uncle boht tng kr rhe hen. So I have decide that I will take the kiddos to school and take them back meself. Will save money and all. 804pmWell, just left my mom to cry in the Kitchen because she was beating the sisters b/c they were eating Daily Milk. She says…
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09.24.24
255pmWell, yesterday, and through to today, this diary got me in trouble. Someone said either you explain why you wrote this this and this or you delete those posts. I will explain in a call today. I guess it was inevitable. It is inevitable. I write online because the feeling, the chance that someone else…
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09.23.24
431amDad’s coming. I am going to move out of this rented home in 20 days or so. I like my job. I like my routine. And I like the fact that I haven’t bought wireless headphones after giving the existing ones to my sister about a month ago. I also like that its been 2…
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09.19.24
403amYesterday I blocked someone. Today I unblocked them. The talk after the block, I tell you! If you are bored with someone’s company, just block them. When you unblock, its going to be a different sensation, take that science!
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09.17.2024
417amHelio! Barack is presidentParkour 512pmJust returned from Grocery shopping. Every time I have to pay taxes to this incompetent government, I have to suffer lol. These guys!
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09.16.24
250pmSo .. this was perhaps the largest time I missed in the diary since I started this here on the website. I am sorry to myself for that! \ RDR2 is like 25% done. Now I am getting bored of it lol. Here’s material for a psychological PhD student. Why would a person so enthusiastically…
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09.09.24
0347pmSo yesterday I bought a PC. Today I am trying to install the game I want to play on it. Its RDR2. It will finish downloading around the same time as my job will end today so … will play at night/morning. One thing I just freaking realized with this is that I need a…
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09.06.24
320pmI haven’t been quite myself recently. I missed two days of making my bed which is the very bare minimum I do as a routine to keep myself motivated and sane but since this week started, I have been kind of low. Just waking up, working and then watching a season to sleep. I have…
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09.04.24
106amGot a good news today so I am happy. I will also start the dental surgery thingie from this coming Saturday. It will take about 6 months to be done fully but hy, let’s do it eh. A start is an indicator of the end coming in. I am happy.